Chapter 7: When Things Aren't Going Well

Supplemental Information >

Mediation: What Position Should I Take?

Soft Hard Principled Participants are friends Participants are adversaries Participants are problem solvers The goal is agreement The goal is victory The goal is wise outcomes reached efficiently and amicably Make concessions to cultivate the relationship Demand concessions as a condition of the relationship Separating the problem from the people Be soft on the people and the problem Be hard on the people and the problem Be soft on the people and hard on the problem Trust others Distrust others Proceed independent of trust Change your position easily Dig into your position Focus on interest, not positions Make offers Make threats Explore interests Disclose your bottom line Mislead as to your bottom line Avoid having a bottom line Accept one sided losses to reach agreement Demand one sided gains at the price of agreement Invent options for mutual gain Search for the single answer: the only one they will accept Search for the single answer: the only one you will accept Develop multiple options to chose from: decide later Insist on agreement Insist on your position Insist on using objective criteria Yield to pressure Apply pressure Reason and be open to reason yield to principle not to pressure

Used with permission. Adapted From Michigan Arc Publication: original information from "Getting to Yes".